Cheesy broccoli soup and tears

Last night Daddy got home early from campus because his last class was canceled. He called me to tell me he was on his way, so I rushed to the kitchen to get something ready before he got home. I made cheesy broccoli soup and rolls and he was a happy happy man. :) My goodness, I love to cook for him. He's always so grateful.Then later that night I got off the phone with my mom who had given me some bad news about her family. Eldon asked me what had happened and I just cried to him about it. He came to where I was and just held me while tears ran down my face. I so appreciate having a kind, gentle husband who takes the time to comfort me. Nothing is as soothing to my heart as my husband's love.

Love note from Eldon

Yesterday I came home from a scary doctor's appointment (they thought I might have an infection that would hurt Chiara, but my tests came back negative, thank goodness) with a fever and a headache, to find a love note on the sewing table. Your dad is the cutest thing! I straightened up the house, and then laid down on the bed to read it. It was full of the sweetest things ... Just what I needed to hear after a long, hard day.I hope our boys write their wives love notes every now and then - and I hope our girls deserve them. :) I write them sometimes too...Men like them as much as women do, I think. The other day Eldon got a bad grade on a test he studied really hard for, and I wrote him a love note expressing my gratitude to him for his hard work and for how much I trust him. Little things like that make such a difference in our marriage.

She kicks!

Chiara has been kicking me since my trip to Reno with my family, but Eldon could never feel it from the outside of my stomach because she kicks so lightly (bless her little heart!). But this past weekend I called him to me, took his hand and pressed it to the spot Chiara had just kicked me. She kicked several more times, and Eldon's face lit up."Shell, I felt her! Oh my gosh!" He was so excited to feel our little baby move for the first time. Even though we know it's real and we are going to be parents in just a few months, feeling her kick like that made it a little more real to us. She's alive with her little spirit and body, and we just can't wait to hold her!

Back Massages

My back has been really hurting now that Chiara is getting bigger. Eldon feels me toss and turn during the night, trying to get comfortable while my back aches so badly. He was so concerned about my discomfort - of course he hates seeing me in pain - that he's taken to massaging my back every single night before I go to sleep. He does it almost longer than I can stand it, about 30 minutes each time. I know his hands get tired and he can't wait to fall asleep himself, but it helps me and he takes that time to serve me and show me his love. Oh, how I appreciate it! I always sleep well after those back rubs. I just love him.

What we want you to know...

There are so many reasons I love your daddy, and every day I think of something I hope you got to see from wherever you're watching. I decided to keep as many of those moments recorded as I can because I need you to know not only how much we love you but how much we love each other.When I was little I had a lot of friends' parents get divorced. It seemed to my childish mind that my own parents' marriage was just a time bomb waiting to go off, that someday I'd be the one crying because my parents didn't love each other anymore. I expressed this concern to my parents and they held me and promised me that they loved each other and Heavenly Father too much to ever end their marriage. I believed them, and I've never spent another worried moment over it.I hope you know that's how your daddy and I feel too. We decided before we got married that if we were going to the temple together it was going to be forever. Our commitment to each other, to God, and to you is so absolute and determined that we'll do anything for this marriage. We don't want to just make it work, either, we want to find joy and happiness together. It takes a lot of effort to really find the joy sometimes because life gets hard and overwhelming. But I try to make Daddy happy, and he tries to make me happy, and with both of us taking care of the other we find it much easier to find the kind of joy Heavenly Father intended us to have in marriage. I can always feel the joy that comes from knowing my husband loves me more than anything in this world ... and I hope you all have that someday.So this will be a record of our relationship written to you. I hope you enjoy reading it and that someday when you're old enough to need and appreciate what you read here you'll find the insight and comfort you're looking for. My goodness, how we love you already.

My 25th Birthday

I am 25 today. Twenty-five. This is quite a milestone for me. I've been crying all morning about it ... I don't know why exactly except that it makes me wish I were so many things I'm not. Like perfect. :) When I was in high school I thought I'd be such a wonderful, ideal woman by this time. And I don't mean to diminish all the work I've done to become who I am, because certainly I'm better than I ever have been. I suppose I just imagined change would be easier.

Although, I have to say here since this is my personal journal, that I am very pleased with who I am. I try so hard to do what I know is right. I've been reading my scriptures, praying consistently, and looking for opportunities to serve. Mostly I've been lavishing my husband with service and it's incredible what that has done for our marriage. He treated me like a queen today, and I knew he really meant it. And when he came to me tonight it was more incredible than our love making has ever been. I adore him. Our marriage is the best part of my life, and I hope it isn't idolatrous for me to admit that. But I've always had the gospel and I've always been faithful to it - but I never experienced this kind of happiness.

Another element of my happiness is how readily Heavenly Father has been teaching me through my scripture study. I wrote several things in my study journal this morning and I've been thinking about them all day. I finished the Book of Mormon (it's been a goal of mine to read it once every year of my life since my mission) this morning and from Moroni 8-10 I learned so much about myself. I have a testimony that the scriptures are truly the word of God and they will be spoken to us unto our understanding in each individual moment we read them. I made a resolution to guard against despair by keeping the hope in my heart and moving forward with faith. I realized I needed to listen to the right voice. The adversary sure loves to scream my inadequacies in my ear. But if I use my agency to listen to the still small voice instead I'm much more satisfied with myself and my life. I hope I can teach our children to do that.