Goals Update

I've been doing great at the following goals:

• journaling


• being gentle


• forgiving Sharon (which is a true miracle from heaven)


• taking pictures


• enjoying my moments


• getting out of the house


• doing hair and makeup more often (not daily, but it's getting better)


• spending less money


• scripture study / prayer

I think I'm ready to commit to a schedule. Here's my attempt. I can't plan exact times, but I can divide my day into predictable segments. :)

1. Awake (9:00am) -- clean outfit, walk outside


2. Naptime (10:30am) -- SLEEP!


3. Awake (12:00pm) -- project while Chiara watches/has alone time


4. Naptime (2:00pm) -- SLEEP!


5. Awake (4:00pm) -- playtime, make dinner


6. Naptime (6:00pm) -- eat, sleep?


7. Awake (8:00pm) -- playtime with Daddy!


8. Bedtime (9:30pm) -- off to work (where I'll read my scriptures and write in my journals)

So, I'll see if that works. I just need to feel like I'm accomplishing something during the day besides cleaning and cooking and just surviving. And I desperately want to lose weight, so the walking outside is a feeble attempt toward that end. Vediamo...

The Holy Secret, James L. Ferrell

LOVED this book! Oh my goodness, it has changed the way I make decisions. I've become a much more gentle wife and mother because I choose the thoughts and behaviors that bring me closer to having a holy lifestyle. I put in a movie the other day and watched about the first three minutes (it may have been less) and popped it right back out again. I just couldn't risk seeing something that would make the Spirit leave me ... and I loved it.

Brother Ferrell talks a lot about loving the holy things in our lives, like the scriptures, the Sabbath, and the temple. Michelle Esplin is receiving her Endowment soon and I'm so excited to be there for that. I was honored that she invited me to the sealing as well, and I can hardly wait. I just want to surround myself with light all the time, every day. That which is light cleaveth to light ... and when my desires are for the light I feel like my own light is growing. I haven't felt this much peace in months.

Currently Reading: #1

I'm reading a great book right now called The Holy Secret by James Farrell. It makes me yearn to bring out the best in myself and my life and let God make me holy. I've become a more gentle wife and mother as I've pondered how sacred those roles are. My hope is that I can develop the kind of relationship with the scriptures the character Al has, and that in doing so I'll become more familiar with Heavenly Father's voice. I would recommend this book to anyone. I've also read The Peacegiver and I loved that one too.


I would love to write these kind of inspirational books someday. I'm so grateful that my mind processes the things I learn from the scriptures in such a way that I'm able to make so many connections and learn so many more things as a result. It served me well on my mission and as a teacher (not to mention just as a person) because I was blessed to be able to communicate the things I felt and read to others. I feel I should express my gratitude for this particular gift by pursuing it further. I need to organize myself and my study so I can write!

Inspirational Quotes: Choice

A sun that shines and a rain which falls equally on the evil and on the good, are essential to morality in a being free like man. -Walter Bagehot (Works of Walter Bagehot, 2:313)

Funny Poem

Terms of Endearment
by Sue Ellen Thompson

Sweet biscuit of my life,
I've been thinking of your smile
and how I'd steal a little bite
of it if you were here; of the delights

I've known in the alleyway between
the whitewashed storefronts of your teeth;
of how I've pressed one smithereen
after another of mille-feuille, mousseline

of late-night conversation upon your lips,
forever poised at the brink of kissdom,
their slightest sigh enough to lift
a tableskirt. Perfectest pumpkin

in the patch, your heft on mine
is what I crave, your brows so fine
I could not carve them with a steak knife.
You have the acorn eyes

of the football season, the [figure]
of an autumn afternoon, of boys en masse
in soccer shorts. Yours is the vast
contained candescence of a Titian under glass,

it is the gold leaf laid
by February sun, the lemonade's
pale wash in August. Should you fade,
like sun on windowsills crocheted

with shadow, then suddenly gone dark,
your face will leave its watermark
upon this page, which is already part
of love's confection, our little work of art.

Study: Gentle

"Thy gentleness hath made me great" 2 Samuel 22:36

showing meekness, speaking evil of no man, apt to teach, patient, servant of the Lord,

• 2 Tim. 2:24 -- be gentle unto all men ... If we profess to be the servants of Christ, if we love Him as we say we do, if we remember Him as we've covenanted to do, we'll treat others with gentleness. I think it's a natural consequence of how true discipleship changes our hearts.
• James 3:17 -- I've been thinking about how and why the wisdom from above is gentle ... I think it's probably just because that's the only way it could be. It's the only thing that fits. Wisdom wouldn't be as wise if it didn't come gently.
• D&C 121:41 -- No power or influence should come without gentleness. I need to remember that in my mothering. I don't want my children to ever hear me raise my voice at them or treat them roughly. And I'm so grateful to have a husband who uses his priesthood gently. What a blessing that is to our home.