Carnival Tonight

Today we took you girls to the carnival in town. We'd watched them setting up the rides for a week and you were so excited to go ride them all. I was so excited to take you.

When we got there, I pushed Evie in the stroller, Belle was up on Daddy's shoulders and Chiara led the way to the entrance. We saw the ticket booth and went to buy some. We had $20 to spend and thought you girls would get to go on all the rides you'd wanted to. We saw the sign, $3.75 per ticket. There was also a little red line showing the height requirements for the rides. Our petite Noelle was too short. My heart sank for you girls. I think I was even more disappointed than Chiara.

So Daddy bought one ticket for Chiara to ride the dragon roller coaster she'd been talking about for so many days. I held a sobbing, heartbroken Noelle as we all watched Chiara go on the ride by herself. The delighted expression on her face as the roller coaster whipped her around the track was priceless to us. Daddy and I exchanged a look over Belle's head ... We would have done anything to see our Chiara so happy. Every time she passed us we whooped and hollered and she waved, always with that giant smile on her face.

When the ride was over we shuttled you all to the green van. You didn't understand why you couldn't go on more rides. Daddy and I had thought we could afford a whole afternoon of fun ... we were so sorry.

So we took you to the park. We walked around the paths and pushed you in the swings. It was a beautiful, lovely day. Noelle wanted to pick every wild daisy she could see and Chiara was so excited to stand on the bridge and throw a penny in the stream. Eve chatted all the way from her little spot in the stroller, but we took her out to swing with her sisters. Nothing could have been more darling than the three of you all swinging together. Noelle wanted to push Evie higher, and we laughed as we told her babies can't go as fast or high as big girls.

By the time we got home we were all tired from all the running, playing, and sunshine. So Daddy studied while all the girls (including me) took a little nap. It was a perfect day.

Day One ... Again

The thing is, I'm a horrible perfectionist. It's agonizing, really. I can sit and stare at what I want to do, paralyzed with fear to start because I don't want it to be awful. And if my past is any sign of my future (thank you, John Mayer) it probably will be. At least the first time.

But the thing is, the quicker I get the first time over and done with, the quicker I can just move on and get on with everything. So that's what I'm going to try to do. For the first time. And probably not the last.

Tonight I tucked Evie into bed the way she likes, with her little muslin blanket with the elephants on it right up against her face. It's a hazard, I think, but after many sleepless nights I've concluded that she's rather good at keeping it from smothering her. She fell asleep first in my arms, then as I put her in her little bassinet she woke up a little, smiled at me, and closed her eyes again. I'll be sad when she grows out of that.

I could type all kinds of hyperbole but nothing would do. She is simply exactly what I need her to be. 

 

I love you, Evie Heart.