I love my husband

I was pretty emotional this morning. Sometimes, with Eldon being gone so much, and then being unavailable when he is here, I feel so alone I almost can't bear it. I spend my whole day loving him and then it's easy to feel like there's not too much love coming back my direction because he's too busy to show it. Not that I don't understand that he's working so hard scholastically out of love for me and our future family, because I do, but it's not the kind of romantic affection that I need sometimes. Then this morning as I crocheted a blanket for Chiara I was thinking that when she comes I'll have two people in my life who I love all day and can't really love me back. I felt my loneliness increase just thinking about it and that made the tears come.

Eldon doesn't have class Thursday morning so he studies here for a couple hours before going to campus. So he was on the computer while I was having my little meltdown and I walked over to him and just asked him to hold me for a minute. He held me for a long time and when I pulled away there were fresh tears on my cheeks. I smiled and turned to walk back to the couch but he followed me and pulled me back into his arms.

"Are you lonely?" he asked me. All I could do was nod against his chest. He held me a little tighter and then led me over to the couch and pulled me close. I snuggled against him and just cried. He held me like that for a long, long time, and then he started kissing me. At first they were sweet and tender and then he became more passionate with me and my whole body responded to him. The way he was touching me was just heaven. I love how he loves me. Those moments of affection meant so much and I was walking on air for the rest of the day. How I appreciated him taking all that time away from his studies to make sure my needs were met. Sometimes I just need a bit of attention, and he tries so hard to be sensitive to that. I just love him with all my heart. And when we made love tonight it was spectacular. He is my favorite part of my life.